The Nigerian society of today has largely placed the average gay man in a tight spot, leaving one with little or no option other than to conform or face its wrath. I'm not too sure about other African countries, but in Nigeria when a man reaches a certain age, whether he's affluent or a pauper, he is expected to snag a woman take her to the alter or atleat father some kids. Gay men have it harder, because a man is expected to be the one who would put the ring on his Mrs. Unlike our lucky lesbian colleagues, who can hide under the guise that no man of their choice is asking for their hand in marriage, therefore remaining single to mingle with their lovers as they please.
This lack of choice for most Nigerian gay men, leaves them with little options than to get married. Like my super intelligent and bossom friend Yinka, who happpens to be the only son of his parents. The dude just finished his masters at Barely 24 in April, now his mummy dearest has been endlessly nagging for him to run home from the US and pick a beautiful Yoruba lady to marry. Yinka may have no option than to marry in order not to bear the brunt of a chastising community. However, this does not mean that there are not some gay men who get married because they love thier wives, or for the purpose of having children. I have a couple of married gay friends in Nigeria who loved being married and are really commited to matrimony.
One of the reasons i stopped associating with a host of married gay men i know is the condescending nature which eats them up after they become "married men." These ones are like;
"ol'boy you never enjoy finish? Come Naija come find wife marry, this homo thing nor be forever and you are not getting younger oh! Find wife marry sharp-sharp before your sperm turn powder."
I guess they may not have been totally serios, but i try to make it known to them that I am never getting married at least not to a woman. Yes i like women, i have not only bedded a few, but also have a fancy for the female anatomy, however that doesn't scramble the fact that men take the cake in my world.
The most annoying part of several of these married gay men is that they still creep around with boys, in differnt places which somertimes get them into trouble, like the one that was almost outed in a serious "kito" case that happened in Alakija last week. My dear, getting married is a blessing, but if you decide to toe that line, why not stay faithful?
Finally, it's understandable that a gay man might not totally come out to his wife concerning his sexuality, but at least he should respect the vows of marriage, not to cheat. All in all, the Nigerian society makes it hard for the gay man to make a choice to be single and willingly ready to mingle for the rest of his days. But my candid advice is, if you really want to enjoy the freedom and complete happiness associated with being an LGBT person, Kindly pack your bags apply for visa and move to a less homophobic nation, preferably outside Africa. The hate on that continent is stifling...