I walked into Ikeja mall with a friend (a girl...so don't start getting ideas) with so much anxiety! Ok who wouldn't be anxious?! For the records, I wasn't just anxious...
I was a hell nervous! My friend assured me of everything going perfectly well. 'Why you retreating Izu?' She said and I was like, 'durrgh! I am not actually a 'Jeremiah' so to speak, this is my first time of doing this'. I know you all would be wondering what that 'thing' is. Let me douse your curiosity. My friend Kene (the gurl) and I were chatting on BBM (she's actually a bisexual...so...)and she asked if I had a boyfriend. No need 2 lie, what's the need, so I told her in the negative. I really don't know y ppl expect me to have a bf...it's not like there are a thousand and one 'lovey-dovey' guys out there that are ready to sweep one off his toes! So, gone past her initial surprise (no surprise 4 me there anyway) she decided 2 link me up with a male friend of hers she believes fits the physical description of 'My Perfect Man'...lol.
I won't give those details here, its very controversial and would spur a thousand comments...I dnt wnt dat, sorry.
So we fixed a timing and sunday it was. We scheduled to meet at the mall, and after about an hour, thirty minutes of being under thesbrain-frying sun in this city, we finally got there. En route, we were discussing and I wouldn't say I was nervous, it was more of anxiety then. I really was looking forward to seeing this 'potential' bf...lol. Would he be cute, tall, well-spoken (that gets me going...#tip). Would he be rude, free-lanced, dirty (I didn't want to dwell on this so much...eeww!). Well my friend noticed I was in a haze and snapped my brain out of its calculations.
Fast forward to an hour, we were finally in front of the edifice and everything seemed to be happening so fast, in a weird kinda way. I could have sworn I heard a dog talk! We moved into the mall and started our quest of getting to his exact spot. Here I was, prior to entering the mall...I was just talking, laughing and being my typical self, den as we entered the mall, I wonder that voodoo man that came and zapped my inner being. I was mute. I was shy. I was just not together. I was literally shaking. Now all through the journey, it was what I would and wouldn't like about him...I had forgotten he would also assess me! I stopped in front of a dozen shops to c my reticent self one more time (I was kinda pleased at wah I kept seeing tho...hehe). Kene pulled my arm and den dropped the bomb...'We are here, Izu' she said in that 'it's-really-not-a-big-deal' kinda way. Says who?!
When I saw him, my heart literally stopped! Ok for just 3 seconds...durrgh, I didn't die! Now he wasn't Liam Hemsworth kinda gorgeous, but this guy was cute! He had this unkempt kinda hair growth under a perfect trilby (its a kinda cap...google it). He was nicely built, not overly muscular o...all those bricked human beings, I can't handle pls. So I scored him some points on my imaginary score sheet (I have those...dnt ask). Just imagine wah 'yours truly' did...I decided to play the 'innocent virgin' about to be sacrificed. I went to another chair and took a seat! Crappy right? (Wah would I have done, in as much as I wanted 2 rip his shirt off and give him one of my candy kisses...a gurl has got some reputation, puhleez!). So I chilled @ a corner wyl he and Kene were exchanging annoying pleasantries. After about 5 mins, they came towards me...I was literally squeezing my thighs in nervousness...and he spoke! Jeez...I was breathless...he has dis cute tongue defect, the one whr the tongue constantly interferes with the teeth when tryna make a sound, his voice was so baritone (I felt like Beyonce)...lol. Have I said he was cute? Yea I think I have, but just so we are clear...he was CUTE! Now all of this drama happened in my head, u don't expect me to be ogling...nehh, I don't run sh** like dat. I had this 'whatever' kinda expression on. He got drinks and we began talkin...Kene was there o.
To cut this rant short, I had a splendid time. Now he scored a 7 outta 10 in my imaginary 'Boyfriend Scoresheet'. Did I hear a 'why?'. Well here it is,he said he's a 'social worker'...meaning, he loves SEX. He was like he couldn't possibly lie that he'd be faithful to me if we eventually have a r/ship...and that, I can't handle. No one would and should share a man with another...not in ma books tho *flipping braids*. So we left, after exchanging digits of course, he pecked me gnyt and dat was it. Wah else do u fink happened? Lol...sorry loves...I dnt do 'wam-bams'. I and ma fwend left, I turned nd saw him lookin wif that lustful eyes of his...haha, that was too sweet to be healthy pls. He went to his place apparently and that's how it went down. I really don't know what to do...I like him, so much if I may add, but I dnt want a 'generous giver' as a bf. Hell no! A generous giver not only gets u unnecessarily jealous, but also may get some 'generously' given STD...dats a no-no 4 moi. But yet, I like him! I really don't know what to do...I guess there's really nothing as a 'Perfect Boyfriend'. Hmmmm... *hands on jaw, drops keypad and looks to the skies...pondering* Nice day y'all!